Friday, December 11, 2009

Advent of trust #9; Accepted

Last night at our home group we were talking about how we view ourselves in Christ is really affected by the lies we believe. We talked about joy, and what that is and where it comes from.

If we keep believing the lies that we are unloved by God, rejected by Him, we aren't going to know what true joy is because we won't see or believe that we are the apple of God's eye, that His face lights up with delight when He looks at us.

In Christ, I am completely accepted. I have been adopted as God's child. Not just that I have been accepted through a technicality and He has to accept me.... He has chosen me to be His own. I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. I am complete in Him... whole and holy. Christ's blood has covered everything. God sees me through that blood as completely white as snow.

I remember one of the things that I dealt with in counseling was a very intense self hatred, for a few specific incidences in my life. Ones that I felt I had participated in completely, and willingly at the time.

I hated myself for this, because though I was a Christian at the time, I still did something that was so reprehensible, I couldn't forgive myself. As Tricia (my counselor) and I worked through one specific instance that I found so horrendous, I was just shaking with self loathing. I was nearly sick to my stomach, because I could see it all again, experience it all again, in my mind's eye.

Then suddenly, I was still in that situation, but God gave me the image of me being covered by this waterfall, and I realized it was His blood. I stood under that waterfall of His blood, drenched from head to toe, worthy. Worthy because "Worthy is the Lamb who was slain" and it was His blood that covered me.

When we are able to break the lies (and we need to ask God to reveal them to us, and help us break them) with the Truth of who God says we are, then we can start living in freedom and joy. We need to cling to the truth in the face of those lies... with our heads, and then with our hearts.

As we do, we find ourselves living with a deeper sense of abiding joy. Even if we are overcome with grief, loneliness, hopeless despair, we have a route to return to joy from there. Our route is the truth that we have learned that counteracts the lies... no matter what we feel.

Finding God faithful to break the lies I have of not being accepted, or never being acceptable enough, finding the joy of living united with Him and one in spirit with Him (1 Cor. 6:17) has enabled me to trust Him.

I "lose" that trust from time to time. I revert back to believing the old lies from the past, the ones the enemy keeps bringing back up when there is a hole in my armor.

Yet, today I choose to look to the past to remind myself of the truth and the faithfulness that God has shown me. That I can trust. If He has been faithful in the past, He is faithful now, and He will be faithful in the future.

I renounce the lie that I am rejected, unloved, dirty or shameful because in Christ I am completely accepted.

I am complete in Christ. (Col. 2:10)

I will trust in Him at all times.

(some thoughts, and some direct quotes come from Neil T. Anderson, "The Steps to Freedom in Christ")

1 comment:

Clay Feet said...

I was about to remind you half way through reading this that all these wonderful things have to be believed at the heart level even more than with the mind. But then you covered most of that with your story. I have come to realize that until my heart really signs on to what I am learning with my mind that the lies can stay deeply entrenched no matter how much I assault them with facts about how God feels about me. Somehow each of us must experience - and more than just once in awhile - the passionate love of God in various ways or our heart runs out of steam. But teaching ourselves truth certainly creates a necessary environment from which our heart can then more easily embrace what we have been telling ourselves all along.
Thanks for this reminder.