I have been struggling with learning how to deal with conflict and make reconciliation a priority in my life.
Facing fear, trusting God to work things out, and speak to people with whom we might be in conflict, takes a lot of gumption.
It's not something that comes easy for me.
Through the process, God has given me opportunities to reconcile with people. I have had the chances to talk to people in my life that I have felt tension with. He has been faithful to work them out. The conversations were not easy, by any means, but useful in setting my mind at rest.
Now I need to work on my part of it. Some of that is not allowing myself to "dredge up" old feelings based on misconceptions. Part of that is renewing my mind. Reminding myself that this person or that person did not intent what I assumed. Therefore, my feelings are based on a lie.
That has been hard, because if I start allowing myself to dwell on the hurts I feel, I find bitterness creeping in. That is not what God has intended for me. I have to stop the feelings and make sure that things are lining up with God's word, in my head. If my thoughts are not lining up with the truth, then I have no business thinking them!!!
Dealing with some of these stressful situations and relationships now has led to some more peace.
I was so stressed out when I was resisting God's call to reconciliation. I had perpetual anxiety plaguing me all day long. I found myself frustrated and fearful of talking to people because I didn't want to be causing division.
Once I finally made the decision to talk to the people I needed to, once I verbalized it to someone to hold me accountable, I found peace overtaking me. Suddenly the knot in my stomach released some.
It's amazing the peace that's found in obeying God!
Trusting God to work all the things for good for all people involved, and working all things so that He is glorified, is hard, but well worth the effort.
The more we walk the path of reconciliation, forgiveness, confession.... the easier it will be... the more like Jesus we will look.
The first time is hard. The first time you feel like you left a million things out when the conversation is over. The first many times you find yourself shaking with relief that the conversations are done.
God is to be trusted though, and if he says to drop everything at the alter and go be reconciled first, then you had better do it!
There is a reason He has said it. There is purpose behind His wanting you to reconcile with others. It's for your good and for His glory!