Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Advent of Trust #1; The beginning...

Last year I did a series of posts during Advent, to help me focus on Christ. It was a bit of pressure trying to write, and get everything up in time, but at the same time, it kept me focused through the days on God.

At the time I was really struggling with depression, despair, and fear. So I focused on Joy... titled the series, Advent of Joy.

This year I wasn't planning on doing any series of posts, only because with work, I didn't think I could keep it up.

I don't know if I will be able to keep up with every day... but I am not going to let that stop me from trying to write something... or to pick back up with it where I left off.

What I have been struggling with that brought me to the point of needing to write about it?
Trusting God.

I do trust Him. To a degree. To a certain level. But this path I am on has shown me that I am not trusting all the way. God has been showing me some lies that are very present, that I need to allow Him to break. They have a stranglehold on me at times. I find it difficult to let things go into God's hands.... for fear I will never have them back again.

Maybe I shouldn't have some of these things back again.... some things I might just need to give up doing or having, etc. Some things, I need to give up, to allow God to restore them rightly, or restore balance... giving up control of them... in a way I keep them, but better, safer hands than mine are holding them.

Anyway.... trust.

Advent is a path to prepare our hearts to receive our King... to repent, to meditate on Christ, to prepare the way of the Lord in our hearts, our lives, our families, our churches....

We are supposed to do this every day, in every way, but Advent is a time of more concentrated effort, a returning to what we should have been doing all year.

This advent is going to be a path for me to repent of the mistrust I have had. A time for me to see the barriers I have put up out of fear. A path for me to follow into deeper levels of trust and security in Christ.

I trust Him. I am totally secure in Him. But I need to move to deeper levels of understanding that (in my heart) and to further abandon in my relationship with Him.

I came to that conclusion last night, but didn't get it into words before now.

For me this will be an "Advent of Trust."

A path to walk, a meditation on my own heart/trust issues with God, a repentence of those areas I see God pointing out, a preparation and cleaning out of my heart's rooms to allow God fuller access to all of me.

It's just the advent of deeper trust... just the beginning of a new level for me.
There have been many beginnings these past years. New levels of freedom, joy, security, peace, living in Truth, trusting, loving.... One layer or two of the onion in these different areas have been peeled back... to reveal another layer (or many) yet to be dealt with. Same issues, but at a deeper level than before.

...the foundation laid...
...now the deeper healing...

And on it goes all our lives.

This is my Advent.... Trust.

What is yours?

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