What can I say to the people who have faithfully been praying for me? Thank you doesn’t seem to cover it. So many have stood by my side through this storm I have been in. Please keep praying. I have some tough decisions to make.
Right now, in the midst of this hurricane I am in, I feel like Jesus is calling me out of the boat to walk on the water. And I am so terribly afraid, because that means I have to trust Him to catch me if I fall, trust Him enough to look up into His face and ignore the screaming wind whipping around me that says I will never make it, I will drown, I will never see the light of day, or the sun rising over a calm sea.
Because right now I do feel like I am drowning, in so many ways. Too many to count. Somewhere, deep inside, I know that God is trying to help me through this. He is so wanting me to cling to Jesus and BELIEVE that He will carry me through. I have heard it said that faith is a gift given to us by God, we can ask for more faith, or for Him to give us the faith to believe in the first place. But actual BELIEF is a choice. We have to choose to believe something. The Truth or a lie. What Jesus says about us or what the world says about us. And what we truly believe shows up in how we act. We may say we believe the Truth of God’s Word to us, but our actions may show something else entirely. We may say we have been adopted by God, loved by Him, chosen by Him… but we (I) may act completely differently, like we are hated and rejected.
I guess at the crossroads I am at right now is this: Am I going to choose to believe the Truth or am I going to continue to listen to and believe the lies? Truth means getting up when I fall down, fighting, pressing on through the junk, the mire, being lifted out of the slimy pit again and again, and experiencing the real JOY of God being with me in all of it, and lifting me through it. Lies means I am going to give up, let life just swallow me whole, survive but only as a shell of the real me, go through the motions of life with a facade up, while dying inside.
So what is it, Heather? Choose. The Truth or the lie?
How about you?