My mother and I were talking in a wonderful restaurant in Madison yesterday. As we sat in the quiet dining room, for an early dinner, we were really able to share our hearts.
Though she had read my recent blog about my most recent counseling session, she had questions and wanted to know more. I was able to share more details, and impressions, that have, if anything gotten richer as I gain distance from the experience.
While we were talking, something new came into my head. Or rather, it gained focus, and came to my conscious mind. I think I had realized it earlier, but not with the clarity I did as we talked.
For the past few years I have referred to God, as God, or maybe Father. I think, now it is because I could hold God at a distance. He could love me, but only so far. He could get close, but only so close. He was distant. I knew He loved me, and desired the best for me, but it was distant. Somehow I lost the sense of His personal involvement in my life.
I have seen God work in my life in the past few years. I know it was Him and not a coincidence. I know, and can point out, specific things that would not have happened, or would not have come together, without God’s direct intervention.
But in my counseling on Wednesday, I wasn’t sitting in the lap of God the Father. I was snuggled in the lap of God the Son. Jesus. It was His scarred hands that held my heart. And it was God the Spirit that He breathed into my heart.
Suddenly, God is personal, close. He is Jesus, not just God or Father… but my Savior, my Redeemer, my Healer. I have allowed Him to directly hold my heart. Let Him in closer than ever before, with complete access to my whole heart and life.
He is my Light.
He is my Hope.
He is my Lord.
He is my Immanuel.
He is my Prince of Peace.
He is my Messiah.
He is my Friend.
He is my Jesus.