Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Radient faces and shame...

Today I was visiting a blog by Lysa TerKeurst and her blog for the day really touched my heart. She talked about how she didn’t want to tell her “real” or whole testimony to others because it wasn’t neat and clean and tidy. When she finally followed God’s leading, and shared her shame, she said she saw God finally use what she had gone through.
“Seeing God use the very thing that made me feel utterly worthless to help others, changed everything. I was finally free from Satan’s chains of shame and could see his lies for what they were.” Lysa TerKeurst

I don’t think that I am there yet. She mentioned that while God was working on her heart, He kept whispering over and over that He loved her. There are times where I sense that. There are other times that I struggle so much. Will He actually bring good out of the junk I have gone through, the wrong choices I have made, the abuse and rejection I have faced, the world of hurt I feel now? I have to trust that He will. His word says that He will work all things for the good of those who love Him. If I believe that the Bible is God’s word to us, and that it is truth (and I do) then I have to believe that all of it is true. Including that verse. If I don’t believe it, I have no hope. And where would I be without hope. A lot of days there is little time for me to even think, much less look for the hope that is there. My kids keep me busy, my life keeps me busy. There are a few times, like now when my kids are eating, that I have a few moments of peace to think and pray. I have to look up… I HAVE to look up and seek His face.

One of my friends quoted the following verse to me once, and though I can’t quote it by heart yet, it means a lot to me.
"Those who look to Him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame."

Psalm 34:5

Maybe someday I will finally feel that. Maybe someday I will reflect only His glory and not feel or notice or be worried about the shame. Maybe someday I will be so enraptured by Him, that I will not even hear the lies of the enemy trying to make me feel ashamed again. I guess that is hope, isn’t it?

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