Preparing...

For the next Three Weeks might we explore: The Practice of Preparing… What does it look like to prepare our hearts for God? How do we prepare our families and homes to encounter God afresh this holiday season? How do we intentionally, prayerfully prepare for holy-days? The whole community looks forward to your prayerful reflections stories, ideas….

From Ann Voskamp's post on Wednesday

That question caught me.  Arrested my attention.  Tugged at my heart.

Especially today. Today we received our packet from Compassion International about our child from Ecuador that we are newly sponsoring.  Not only has he been waiting for over 6 months for a sponsor and never had one before, we have never been sponsors before.  I have been waiting to BE a sponsor for over 6 months.

How do we prepare our family, our home to encounter God afresh this holiday season?  How do I?

Its something I struggle with, because with little kids, it becomes a "what can I get, what do I want, how much can I get..." type of season.

I don't want that.  More than ever, I don't want that.  I want them to be thankful for all they have.  Not yearning for the material things they don't.

I know someone else who is yearning for things they don't have.  Me. Dave. It seems to come so naturally for us.... why shouldn't the kids pick up on it too?  Its all over our culture, and I can lay blame at the feet of our consumerism culture.

But I am to blame too for they learn it in the home first.  They learn it from me when I buy whatever I want at the moment.  They learn it from me when they hear me talking about wanting something for the house we don't have.  They learn it from me when I tell them "no" when they ask for something, but when I want something (not need) I say "yes" to myself.

What kind of mixed message is that?

How do I prepare them to encounter Christ?  Not just this season, but always.

By taking advantage of the opportunities that present themselves.

Last week, talking to Peter during the service when he opted to stay with me rather than go to childrens church.  Answering his questions.  Helping him understand what Communion means, allowing him to take it with me, to break the bread with me then and talk about it after.  Hearing the desire to do it again hidden in his voice as we talked.

This past week and a half as we have prayed for this one boy in Ecuador who needs someone so badly to love him and sponsor him, to pray for him.  Explaining what it means for him to live where he does, how he does, to the best of my ability.  Sharing pictures taken by the team of bloggers who were in Ecuador last week.

Teaching them somehow to let go of the tight grasp they have on their "things" to give away the good stuff, not just the old, ratty toys and stuffed animals they have, but the new.  The things they might want, but not need.  If they don't want it cause it's old, or dirty, or broken why would someone else want it?

I want Peter and Marina to learn what it means to be blessed with more grace and joy by God out of giving rather than receiving.

I want them to understand how blessed we are by God to have all the things that we scatter willy-nilly through the rooms of this house.  I want them to know the POWER behind giving thanks in everything.  The good and the bad.

These kids of ours.  They aren't extraordinarily selfish or out of balance. They are like any other kid their age.  But I want them to have hearts of compassion.  They are tender-hearted and I want them to be tender out of compassion for others to the point of wanting to DO something to help them.

They can learn more about God and encounter more of Jesus in the naming of the gifts we have been given. 

I am not really sure how to help them encounter Jesus this season.  But maybe showing them my heart in giving with help.  Allowing them to see my tears as I pray for this brother of theirs in Ecuador.  I hope that this year they can see Jesus more clearly. Not just from how this time of year seems to promote a "magical" quality in everything... but by really seeing Jesus, and what this season is for.

I struggle with it every year, but for some reason this year seems particularly hard for me.  We want to do so much for them, but really there is no way to "compete" with other things we know are going to be given.  And I don't want to compete. 

I would rather they didn't get anything at all, but instead gave things away.

I never learned that as a child.
Not how to let go easily.

I don't want them stuck in the mindset of getting and having to learn as an adult how to give.

Not that I don't want to gift them with presents and things, because I do.  I love seeing their faces when they open up something they really want.  I want to see them savor the moment. 

But.

I want to see their faces when they see someone else open up something they really wanted, that Peter and Marina have given.  I want to see Peter and Marina savor the moment of giving.... and find really, true joy in that moment.  A joy that they will keep giving to receive more of.

Oh the joy that comes in the thanking God for everything.  The good, bad and ugly.

The bigger house.  The large yard.  Family close by.  The sun streaming in the livingroom window.

The mess of toys and art supplies on the floor that I keep tripping on cause the kids didn't put them away.  The mounds of laundry to be done - because we actually have clothes that need cleaning.  The spiders that make the cobwebs that drape our corners and ceilings no matter how often I sweep them and wipe them away - because we have an abundance of wood in our basement to put in our wood furnace to heat the house through the winter.  The dirty kitchen floor and counters - because we have a family to feed and food to do it with.

Fingerprinted windows to clean --- kids to print those windows up in their pointing and waving and pressing up to see out at birds and snowflakes.
Litterbox to change --- cats to curl up on our feet and laps when we settle down together.
Light bulbs to switch out --- we have electricity and the ability to light our house at night.
Carpet to vacuum --- people who are able to run in and out of the house to play or work and track in their day with them.
Beds to make --- loved ones to fill those beds, and somewhere warm and cozy to lie at night.

As I make my lists, the load of things to "do" becomes lighter and I can do it with a smile, because it is a joy to do these things because I have someone to do them for.

More and more blessings and gifts from God.
All becomes grace.
All is grace.

Oh that my kids will learn that. That is how they will be more prepared to encounter God this season. Naming the gifts. Thanking God for everything. 

Lord, teach me how to teach them out of what you have been teaching me!!!  Fill up the holes that I will leave, have left, the gaps, and reveal yourself to them.  Help them find the balance of enjoying what they have been given, and giving away to others. Help them learn their wants from their needs, and understand that it isn't wrong to have desires, or have those desires met, but not to worship anything or desire anything more than they worship You and desire You.

Show me the balance.  Fill up my holes.  Help me worship and bow down to You first and always and only.

God, sanctifly me through and through until I reflect only You.

Jesus, let this boy from Ecuador entering our lives right now, at this season help change us all and open our eyes to see all we have been blessed with, gifted with out of Your lavish grace, and help us lavish it on him, and others that cross our paths.

Prepare our hearts to see and receive You this season... and to respond back to you with joy and thanks.

Blessing is a cycle...

Blessing is a cycle.

When we bless someone else, we get a blessing in return.

So, what about with God?

Many times in the Bible we are called to bless the Lord.  In Psalm 134 the word “bless” is used three times.  Twice the Psalm entreats us to “bless the Lord.”

However the last time it is used, it is a blessing spoken on us… “May the Lord bless you…”

Yesterday I finished up the Bible study I was working on through the summer.  “Stepping Up,” by Beth Moore.

The last couple of days she made the point that blessing is a cycle with God, not just with one another.  It is a lopsided cycle, but a cycle nonetheless. 

In faith we come into God’s presence, blessing Him, honoring Him, praising Him, worshiping Him.  Then He responds, longing to bless us, opening His hands to us to give blessing.  And we walk away.

How many times have I gone into worship, struggling to remove the distractions so that I could truly bless God, truly praise Him, and then walked out and later felt empty?  I felt blessed at the time of the service, in the service filled and at peace, joy in my heart.  Once I left the building, headed home and back to my “life” I felt empty and restless, with the worries of life pressing in again.

I can spend my time in the Bible, studying and praying in the morning, but it doesn’t seem to carry over into my day, to relate at all to anything I am actually doing and encountering in the day. 

Not all the time, but it seems to happen more often than I want to admit.

Beth said that many times we come out of our times of blessing God and leave His blessings for us behind.

Think about that for a moment. 

If blessing really is a cycle, we bless God, He blesses us and back again, why would we not want to take His blessings with us?

We praise God and bless Him, honor Him and lift up His name, and then He pours out His blessing upon us. 

It is hard for this little brain of mine to comprehend how it all works.  I offer up my pitiful attempts to bless God, and then His infinite mercy and grace are flooded over me.   How can I possibly walk away from a time like that and not be blessed?

And yet…

Many times I blindly stumble out of my times with God, leaving behind His mercy and grace, all flooded over and dripping on the floor.  I come out forgetting I was drenched, feeling dry as a bone.

Yesterday, after reading Beth’s words the night before was a whole new day.  Monday I was those dry bones.  Yesterday, these dry bones were dancing, washed and covered over by the flood of His grace.  His blessings washed away the doubts, fears and stress of the day before and I was free.

All I had to do was ask.  All I had to do was ask God to help me walk out of my time with Him with His blessings in my hands.  I opened my hands and gave Him all my garbage, all my worries, all my stress.  Instead of dropping my hands and walking away when I was done, I kept them open to receive what He had for me.  In the process my heart stayed open to receive the life giving rain of grace, and my eyes stayed open to see the peace and joy God gave me as a result.

It started another cycle of blessing.  Praising Him for seeing and feeling the change, for being able to walk on with His blessing over me, in me.  And my Jesus blessing me again and again throughout the day, reminding me of His blessings for me… 

Oh His grace…

in the moments I fail

and

the moments I am freed…

in the moments of victim

and then

the victory… 

I stumble

and then

I cry…

He lifts me up

and then

I fly…

 His blessings are

beyond compare

To bless Him

and be blessed

unaware…

Oh His grace

His grace…

All is grace…

Making everything new...

Today I looked outside and was met with a rainy Sunday morning as I got ready for church. While getting ready, I heard thunder. Then there was the bits of ice hitting the window and the hint that it had snowed out a bit too.

My husband came home from his third shift and warned me to take it easy on the way home. The further north, the worse the roads were. (He had come from work, which is north of us by only about 20 minutes - there was that much difference in the temperatures and precipitation type)

It's still cold and grey, windy and misty out, even now.

Our pastor reminded us this morning that though everything looks dead, dormant and we keep thinking that spring will never come, every single year it does.

Spring is such a reminder that God brings new life to what seems dead.

Revelations 21:5 says that God is making everything new, and that His words are trustworthy and true.

Did you hear that?

Everything.
Not just some things, some plants, some trees, some people, some situations.
Everything.

New life, new sight, new hearing, new flesh, new hope.

God has so much in store for us in the new life He offers. He has so much in store for me in the new life He offers to me.

My heart was just overflowing this morning with gratitude as we gathered together in the prayer meeting before the service. We only had about 40 minutes, but the time just seemed to fly by. I was truly able to enter into His presence and praise Him, confess and seek forgiveness for my sins, and pray for others in a way that I am not always able to do in group prayer times.

Pastor Kim shared today the differences between the Old Covenant that God made with Israel, and the New Covenant He has made with us. He had three different points, but one really jumped out at me.

The Old Covenant brought feelings of condemnation, while the New brings feelings of commendation.

The Old showed how we constantly fail at keeping God's laws and commands. the New gives us the internal power (by the Holy Spirit dwelling in us) to do what is right.

What really struck me about that was God shows us what to do and then empowers us to do it.

How many times have I gotten stuck? I hear and feel God impressing on me something He wants me to do or say. He speaks directly into my heart. Through His word, or through someone else or a bible study I am doing, He asks me to do something, or to give something up. And that's where I get stuck, because I feel like it is completely impossible. There is no way that I can do it, not a single chance that I could ever do or not do whatever it is.

and I can't.
Not in my own power.

But. God.

I love those words! How many times in the bible have those words come together just before God does something amazing, or gives an incredible promise?

God gives me the power to actually do or not do what He wants me to. I have to accept His help. I have to do my part and determine to do what is right, make the right choices, take captive my thoughts, stand firm against the enemy, filter my emotions through the truth of God's Word. Without His Spirit in me, I wouldn't be able to do any of those things effectively in my own power. I wouldn't be able to make those choices without His power in me, working to help me.

How many times do we find people walking through life, but not really living it the way God created?

And I'm not talking about non-believers here.
I am talking about us.
The church.
The Body of Christ.
The very people that God has given up His Son for, and given His Spirit to!!!!

How many times, how long have I walked through this life of mine, without really living? God has given NEW life, hope, peace, power, joy. New ears to hear His truth, new eyes to see Him working, new flesh to walk purely.

We have such power if we choose to tap into it. God has given us so much more than "just" salvation. We have so much more than a ticket to heaven!

With that new life, I have a new hope to which God has called me. Imagine that! We are called to HOPE! I have a glorious inheritance. Not just in heaven, but here on this earth God has given me, given all of us a Promised Land to live in - one flowing with milk and honey - abundance in ways we can't ever imagine.


Here is where I am going with this. We have incomparably great power that is ours if we believe. Not just believe in Him, but really believe Him.

That is the power I was talking about earlier. Power to do what God is asking of us. His power that raised Christ from the dead is at our disposal if we only knew how to use it. We don't have to walk about in defeat. We are free! Can't we start living like it? can't we start stepping out in the little things to see what God can do?

He is willing to start small with us, as long as we are willing to trust Him. As I have become more willing to believe my Father, as I have CHOSEN to believe Him, He has taken me a step at a time.

I've felt like I have been saying, "Ok, I thought I heard You say to test out the ground here and see if it is dry enough for me to walk on..." And so I take a step. Then there is another one, and another one. He keeps asking me, "Are you going to believe Me here too? Are you willing to believe me for this area of your life too?" I have recently been looking back, and all those little steps have added up to quite a long distance. Even in just the last 2 months or so.

All it takes is one step at a time. There is no condemnation for failing to live up to the "standards" and the "law." There is just love and gentle correction and a complete wiping clean of the slate. He gives us such love and approval when we do what He wants, and such love and forgiveness when we don't that we don't ever, ever have to feel condemned.


Only the enemy wants to hold us back. Only the enemy wants to keep us walking through life, not seeing the freedom and joy and peace we can have. Only the enemy wants to keep us from accessing the incomparably great power that is ours in Christ.

Because if we do, if we start living those victorious lives that are possible in Christ, we are going to be so attractive to other believers, they are going to want to know how to access that power in their lives. On top of that, we will find ourselves living our lives in such a way that we will be attractive to those who don't believe and they will want to know how we can live with such peace and joy.

No, we don't get it right all the time when we live in victory and freedom.
But that is the beauty of it.
We ALWAYS live in forgiveness.
We always walk in the new life, with new hope and new growth.

Embracing your greatest challenge...

I found a post from Lisa Whittle on her recent trip to El Salvador with Compassion International. At the end of it she had this exhortation.

"Don’t be afraid of your challenge in life, whatever it is. Look it in the face and defy it. Embrace it. Own it. Live it, and let it move you to a new place of personal and spiritual discovery. Love it or hate it, you can either challenge it or it will challenge you. Challenge it, and you will win…no matter what the outcome. Because in the process, you will see with eyes of purpose and feel with new waves of passion.

You can wait, sit and wish. You can wonder what it feels like to regain a spiritual pulse. You can watch while someone else comes to a place of understanding that could be yours, if only you were willing to stop being afraid of what you don’t know.

I can’t tell you what to do, and I know you don’t want me to. All I can say is that it is my strongest belief that you find yourself in the midst of your greatest challenge."

My greatest challenge lately has been seeing how depression has been coming back in waves. There are days that it is great, and I feel free. There are other days when I feel like I can't breathe.

There are days when I can release things immediately to God and rest in His presence. There are other days when I find anger and frustration (even with very little things) overtaking me.

This post of Lisa's really challenged me to, yet again, face up my depression toe to toe and not let it make me back down from doing what God wants me to... as a wife, as a mom, in my job, in my walk with Him.

In many ways I have been afraid of the challenges in my life. I have looked at them as something to put my head down and just try to get through. I still find myself fearing things at times.

Depression I have seen as my enemy, robbing me of the joy and peace that could be mine.

Yet, Lisa says that we should embrace our challenge, own it, and live it.

It's hard for me to think about embracing depression - much less to own it and live it? What's that?

I guess I have been doing that to a certain extent already. I have been living it, and it has pushed me from one place to another - a greater sense of living, maturing me, etc. Working through my depression has been a way of growing me into greater personal and spiritual discovery.

I just wish, so many times, that the depression would lift - that I would be able to enjoy life with my kids without so much of a cloud hanging over my head - that I would be able to enjoy my family without so much frustration and yes, even anger at times, hounding me.

I get tired of struggling. I get tired of having to constantly check my thoughts. I know I need to, or I will succumb to the pressure of the lies, and sink even deeper. But can't I get a rest? Can't I get a break?

The last couple of days, since maybe Thursday of this past week, have been a break for me for the most part, and I can praise God for that!

I had a good time away, borrowing a friend's house while she and her husband were gone to have a retreat day. I got just over 5 hours away. Less than I had planned, but more than I have gotten in a long time. I got to spend the rest of the weekend with family at the farm and had a long break from the kids, as they were spending time with cousins that they don't get to see too often.

Those are blessings God has given me. And I have had a break from the depressive thoughts.

I really don't like having to be reminded again and again that I need to persevere, and that I need to keep taking captive my thoughts. I know I need to, but it doesn't make it easier to do it. Especially when I am tired.

Today though, I am going to purpose to look at the positive. I am going to hang onto the truth that I am a beloved child of God, and the apple of His eye. Today I am going to walk out into the cool, bright, sunny day and enjoy it for the gift it is from God.

Another day, another choice to make.

I know this journey through depression has matured me, caused me to find new spiritual discoveries about myself. I guess I have been embracing it, facing it, challenging it, fighting it.... and yes, even owning it.

I still find it really hard to accept that this is going to be with me - probably as long as I am alive on this earth. I may never understand it, but I have to accept it, that this is a tendency of mine - towards depression as a side of weakness to the strengths and gifts God has given me.

My heart is full of the blessings God has given me. And though I may find myself leaning towards fearing what tomorrow may bring, I choose to live in the light of the grace of God today, and to rejoice in His gifts and to soak in His love for me.

May you be able to do that as well.

forever grateful....

You and I are alike in so many ways.
Yet, there are so many ways in which we are so unique.
That's what makes our friendship so exciting.
We get each other.
Understand each other.
We learn from each other, growing together.

God has orchestrated our meeting from eternity past.
God has knit our lives and hearts together in ways we don't even grasp.


We have walked through some pretty dark valleys together.

We have walked along some crazily steep paths together.

We have stood on the amazing mountain tops, gasping at the possibilities together.

You have upheld me, prayed for me, cried with me, danced on the streets with me, worshiped with me.

You have shared your life and heart with me. Opened your home as a haven to me. Talked with me for hours on the phone to help me through a horrible day. Known it was me calling, when I was crying too hard to even say hi. Laughed with me till we could hardly breathe, so hard we were in tears.... Stayed up late with me (even when you never, hardly ever, stay up late at all).

Slowly, as God has been growing me, I have felt like I should give something back...
As if I should repay...
But how can you repay something that was given freely?

Do you repay the gift of love, the gift of grace?

Can I repay God for His love, His grace?
Not really, that was a free gift.

Like your love to me.
Free and unrestrained.

So, I can't repay, but I can respond in kind.

I will share my life and my heart with you. I will open my home as a haven to you. I will stay on the phone with you for hours if you need me to help you through a horrible day. I will know it is you calling, even if you are crying too hard to say hi. I will laugh with you till I can hardly breathe, so hard I am in tears. I will stay up late with you (even if you never, hardly ever, stay up late at all).

I will uphold you.... using God's mighty Word.
I will pray for you.... and have been.
I will cry with you.... already have today.
I will dance on the streets with you.... as we see God answer prayers - even when it isn't the way we expect or might want.
I will worship with you.... worship our mighty King, who knows, so much more than we ever could, what is the best for us.

I will walk with you. I will ask the hard questions. I will listen to the hard questions you might have. I too, do not have all the answers, but I know the One who does.

He is the God of compassion, the God of all comfort.
He is Jehovah - Rapha, the God who heals.
He is our provider, our helper, our protector, our shield and shelter.

He is the One who has moved mountains.

He moved incredible mountains in my life.
He still is.

He can move this one too, for you.

When you hurt, I hurt...
But even more than that....

He hurts too. Jesus weeps with us. He sees every tear that falls. He hears us when we call, even when it doesn't seem like it.

He answered my pleas from years ago... prayers I prayed for 10 years....

God has orchestrated our meeting from eternity past.
God has knit our lives and hearts together in ways we don't even grasp.

I am forever grateful that He answered my prayers.

That He answered them with you.


Update:
Win a free copy of Scot McKnight's book, "The Real Mary: Why Evangelical Christians Can Embrace the Mother of Jesus." Interested? See L. L. Barkat's post, "Did I Really Pray That?"