Today was one of those days.
You know the ones I am talking about.
I woke up late, with a horrible headache, and my stomach off kilter.
I got to work and sat looking at my desk and list of things to be done and realized that most of what I needed was still at home.
I just was "off" and didn't know how to fix it.
I felt like I was just a body warming a chair at work today. What was the point in me being there when I couldn't get done all I wanted to?
Then this afternoon happened.
First my best friend, Gwen, was online and showed up in my chat status. So, I dropped her a line in the chat, to see if she was really there and had time. She did. Though it was a short conversation, I knew God had authored it, because she shared some things that needed prayer, and it was good for us both, I hope!
Then right at the end of our conversations, my home group leader, Pete came by the office. I was very happy to see him, but I assumed he was there to talk with Pastor Kim. So I just indicated that he was free, if Pete wanted to go in.
Instead, Pete came into my office first. I thought he was just going to stand and chat a moment about our small group and what we were going to be doing, and the menu for Thursday.
When he sat down in my extra chair, I realized that he really wanted to talk. With me. I felt surprised, then this peace and joy flowed through me that he was taking the time to stop. Pete was taking a pause in his day for me.
We talked about a wide range of things, some important stuff, a few light things. I was able to share prayer requests. He asked how I was doing with my job at the church, as well as just personally. He took time and listened, and shared some of his heart too. We talked about things concerning our small group, concerning him and his wife, Donna.
Some of the things gave me something to chew over and ponder for a while now.
When our conversation reached a natural conclusion, Pete suggested that we pray together. He prayed first, then I did - and my heart came pouring out, in prayer for him and Donna, for our small group... and other more personal things. Unexpected but good.
What struck me as we talked and prayed, and made even more of an impression afterward, was that Pete asked for my opinion and insight into some things.
That may seem average and ordinary to some.
To me, it was huge. To be thought of as whole and healthy enough to be able to give an opinion or advice was so impacting to me today, especially coming from someone I love and respect so much.
There have been times where I have sensed something, and never said anything to anyone about it, or done anything about it, and the moment has passed. I haven't trusted myself enough to feel like I had the right to say something, because well, what if I was totally wrong?
Slowly in the last year or so, I have opened up to one person, my friend Cindy, a couple of times when I felt that God was prompting me to - because she was safe.
However in the past month or so, I have dared to open up to a few more people about an insight I had, or about something I sensed, that ended up being right on. A couple of them were pretty noticeable to me. I also know that it was only God who could have shown me these things.
There were two things that I felt I noticed. One, I spoke about it to the person involved. The other I didn't because I was unsure how to communicate it, verbally or written. The spoken one, I don't know what kind of affect on the person it had, or if healing will take place because of it. The unspoken, I am concerned now, knowing other things, that my not speaking (or writing) when prompted allowed a situation to continue, and possibly worsen, due to lack of knowledge.
In the conversation with Pete though, I felt that God was touching my heart in a much needed way. I didn't know I needed it until it happened. It was a tangible way God showed me that I am on the right path.
On the right path, with a heart bursting with the desire to do and say the right thing, and to not overstep what God wants me to do, or to get ahead of Him.
On the right path.
Oh, to see the road He has taken me on, and now to see that He has had this road in mind all along! Because only through the pain I have been in, am I able to recognize it in others. Only through the experiences I have been through am I able to see the traps and recognize similar circumstances unfolding in other lives around me.
Scared to death sometimes to say what needs to be said.
But I am willing.
Only through prayer and seeking God's wisdom and discernment have I had the opportunity at times (and the permission) to speak into someone's life.
Truly, I have been, and still am, on the road, walking with Jesus.
Today, God knew what I needed though I couldn't put it into words.
When Pete took the time to come into my office and sit down, God used it to touch a place deep inside of me. Pete invested in me today, and I hope I was able to give back some. The affirmation, encouragement and prayers I got today, from someone I love and respect, means more to me than I can put into words.
It was the love, acceptance, and encouragement of a father to a daughter that I don't get very often, at least in spoken words.
It was the unspoken but implied acknowledgment of growing up and being peers, a change in relationship, and almost a rite of passage for me.
God used a simple conversation to show me I am growing up, to show me that He loves me and has worked in me, even when I didn't feel like He was.
He used it to build and expand my capacity for joy, and to help me through the transition to the next level of maturity.
Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness to me! Thank you for using the people in my life to touch me and work in me in the very ways I need. Oh, may I be such an instrument in the lives of those around me!
No, today was "nothing special." It was just a day that God met me, matured me, impacted my life, and gave me a deep joy, in the ways only He can.