We are starting the "Breaking Free" bible study by Beth Moore at our church. In the end we are going to have a total of 9 ladies (counting myself) once one comes back from a vacation.
This year, I am leading the Thursday morning women's study. Last year another gal was, but she and her family have moved further north of here, and while they are still coming down to our church for Sundays, she has had to back out of other things to be close to home for her kids who are just starting school.
So, I realized that most of the summer was gone and no one else was stepping forward to lead.
I could have let it slide.
I could have let it go.
But all the gals who had done it last year really loved getting together.
I prayed about it some, and reasoned that I would be going to it if someone else led it, and because we'd probably do a Beth Moore study, and the teaching is all done by her, by video, that I could at least facilitate.
And as I thought about it, there were many that were running through my head.... I kept thinking of all the studies she has put out. I kept coming back to one. I couldn't get it out of my head.
I am pretty sure this is the one God hand picked for those of us going through the study. "Breaking Free: Making freedom in Christ a reality in life."
I don't know each of their stories, or where they are on their path with God. But for this moment in time, for this semester, God has caused all our paths to converge, to come together for this study.
I know where I am. I know the struggles I have had. I know the fears I have. The depression I have been battling.
I have been back in counseling. I have been going again, trying to get a handle on what is going on in my life, and in my emotions. I know that I have been walking in freedom, but now something is holding me back. There is something re-surfacing, that I need to work through for further healing.
I think this study is coming at a really good time for me, and for maybe all the others who will be involved.
I also know it will be a great challenge to lead, because of how the enemy attacks when we step into leadership. The old lies and insecurities resurface and the little voice inside starts whispering,
"Who do you think you are? You can't do this! You're nothing. There's no way you can even begin to pray for these people, much less anything else. You are nothing, you have nothing, and if they knew about your past...."
Will you please pray for me?
Will you please pray with me?
Will you pray that everyone who starts will complete the study to the end?
Will you pray for God's truth to penetrate hearts and minds, and that we would be willing to act on what He tells us?
Will you pray for me as I lead, and facilitate and pray for these precious women, these precious sisters in Christ.
Please pray too, that if there is anyone else who is meant to be in the study, they'd just show up. We have a couple of extra books that someone could take.
Pray that God's mighty Spirit would blow through us and change us, and through us, inspire and encourage others to change as well.
I am going to spend the rest of my night tucking in my kids, snuggling into bed and praying/journaling for the study tomorrow, and for my time with Tricia in my counseling session tomorrow afternoon.
May God bless you all!