Well, here we are at another week for our book study. I have gotten a slow start this week. I was supposed to have posted on Tuesday. But I just couldn't. Before I go on, Lelia is our gracious host for our "Yes to God Tuesdays" book study. If you want to check out the other posts, head over to her site to link to them.
Chapter 3: Fashioned for faith - not fear
I had a hard time getting ready for this post, and writing because this chapter hit home, and spoke right into my situations from this past week or two.
A dear loved one who seems to be drifting away from the Lord.
Our financial situation.
My husband's desire for me to go back to work.
Even doing the music for our church's VBS this summer.
I also got hung up on some questions that Micca asked in the course of the chapter.
She said in this chapter,
"The Bible doesn't focus on who we are, but whose we are and our identity in Christ. The answer to conquering fear isn't found in you; it's found in God."
I started out last week Thursday in a bit more peace, though I was crying out to God for my loved one. It was painful to cry out. But God was in it. I woke up on Saturday morning feeling sick, and though I am now feeling better (mostly), I feel like my emotions have sort of "shut down." I don't know how else to describe it. I stopped praying.
I have been fighting these fears so much on my own strength, these past few days. Trying to talk myself through these things.
Oh it so doesn't work!
"Where do you run to find comfort from your anxieties and peace for your fear?"
As I have been trying to do everything on my own, my confidence has withered away, just like Micca said it does.
Comfort and peace from my anxieties and fear... where have I been running? Away from God. I know it is wrong. I know where I should be going. I know the right answers. I know that I need to fall on my knees before Him when I am afraid. I know that His word will wash my heart and soul and will give me peace.
But I have allowed the enemy to plant fear in my life, and to twist things around on me. I have allowed the enemy to start to convince me that though I know those truths of who God is, and who I am in Him, that I don't really believe them. That those truths haven't gone from my head to my heart. I have allowed the enemy to take me out of the battle.
I have been running to anything that would help me forget the pain I have been feeling. It hurts to see my loved one not following God the way they have in the past. It hurts when I see our financial situation, and the bills we have to cover. I feel hopeless when I look at the bills and try to figure out how we are going to pay them down and keep them down. It hurts when I don't really want to go to work, but know that my husband wants me to, to help with the bills. I fear that I am going to go to work, and then not have an end date in sight, and end up continuing to work.
So I have been doing a lot of running.
No wonder I have disconnected from God this week, and felt that fear and anxiety. I haven't been taking shelter under His wings, or hiding in Him.
I cast my cares on God last week Thursday in small group. I cried out to God. And then I took them back over the weekend.
I have been living in emotional shut down the past 4 days or so because I haven't cast my cares back on Jesus. I have been living in fear, so my emotions just shut down, rather than deal with them.
"To find safety and shelter, you and I must learn to live in the presence of God again."
I want that safety and shelter and sense of security. Then I will be able let my emotions go again, because I will know that God can handle them, and that He can heal them. I won't need to live in emotional shut down, because I will be safe. I will be in a safe place to let them go... in my Jesus' presence.
He is always with me. But I need to acknowledge that. I need to acknowledge His presence and purposefully place myself under His wings. It's a choice, and if I don't make it, the enemy has his way with me.
I wasn't created for fear. I can't live in fear. When I am in fear too long, my emotions shut down.
I was created to live in faith.
* When I put my faith in myself, my confidence crumbles.
* When I put my faith in others, they fail me.
* When I put my faith in things to numb fear, those things fade away, and the pain comes back.
When I put my faith anywhere, in anything, in any other person, than who God created me to, I fall flat on my face.
How many times do I need to experience that falling flat on my face before I learn my lesson?!
"Faith believes that God is real, and hope is the confidence that He'll do what He said He will do."
I need to spend more time in His word (something I have neglected the past few days or so) and time in prayer to get to know Him better. The better I know Him, the better I will be able to trust Him, and have faith that He will provide for all the situations I find myself facing. As I have had faith and trusted Him in difficult situations in this past few years, God has very obviously provided for me and helped me through them, and He has healed me in so many ways.
I need to actively pursue God and actively practice something that Micca said.
"When Satan tries to pull concerns down over your eyes of faith, simply declare God's sufficiency and watch Satan's fear tactics go up in smoke."
Today I choose to say that God is enough.
Today I choose to say that God is enough for the situations I find myself in with:
*A dear loved one who seems to be drifting away from the Lord.
*Our financial situation.
*My husband's desire for me to go back to work.
*Even doing the music for our church's VBS this summer.
God is enough. God is sufficient to supply all my needs.
EVEN WHEN NOT ONE THING CHANGES.
God is still enough!
EVEN WHEN NOT ONE THING CHANGES.
God is still enough!
"In God's loving care, our spirit is renewed, and we know for certain there is no safer place on earth. The Lord picks us up out of our wrecked lives while we are still scared, and He comforts us. His rescue is certain and trustworthy."
I am going to refresh my memorization of Psalm 91. And I am going to start praying through it. Even when I am shaking and trembling. Even when I am not sure that I am believing what I am reading or praying through.
I choose to trust God with this day. I choose to trust God with these circumstances. I choose to trust that God will strengthen me through these things, and teach me through them, even if I don't see a change in the situations.
Step out with me in that faith that we were created for.
Step out with me today.
Step out and trust the God who will never change.
Step out with me today.
Step out and trust the God who will never change.
God bless all of you and thank you for standing in prayer with me.
5 comments:
Heather,
My heart goes out to you today! You are walking with Him, seeking Him. He is there!
Romans 8:26 In the same way, the spirit helps us in our weakness, We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
Keep going, seeking, praying.
you are loved, prayed for, cared for.
In Him,
Tina
Heather, continue to encourage yourself in the Lord. Yes, He is right there with you! Our problems are too big for all of us. And God is the only One powerful enough, wise enough, and loving enough to handle them.
I love this quote. "To find safety and shelter, you and I must learn to live in the presence of God again." I think the key word is learning. Yes, it is most definitely a learning process, not an overnight project. It takes time, and patience with God and ourselves.
So, hang in there and fight the good fight of faith. Resist the devil. Place hope in the pure, perfect, everlasting word of God. He is going to bring you through this trial.
May I just whisper this simple prayer for you? Father, Your hand is on Heather's life. She is your daughter; You are her Father. Your love for her transcends our imagination, and your concern for her is so much deeper and real than the compassion of any other. She is in the palm of Your hand, her name engraved there. She has been and is faithful to Your word, and I pray now that you will give her grace and strength, hope and trust. Please place your loving arms around her, so she will know just how special she is to You. In Jesus name, Amen.
In Christ's Love,
Andrea
Heather, I could so relate to your words. You, your loved ones, and the situations you mentioned are in my prayers. Praying especially that you will be able to rest in the peace that can only come from abiding in His presence.
Oh my friend I hear the anquish in your writting, and am praising God for your willingness to let us see your pain. To let us know how I can pray for you. Your honesty and your heart is in this post.
I've had you in my thoughts these last few days, and am continuing to pray for you. I understand so much of the fear you face, Hang on to God sweet sister. His arms are open wide waiting to give you peace and comfort.
I love you friend,
Carol
Sweet Heather,
Thank you for taking part in this bible study. When I read your blog, I can't help but think "this is why I wrote this book." I wrote it to help you feed your faith in unfaithful times.
God is faithful and you are not alone. He knows your fears and your needs. No matter how things might appear, God cares and is working on your behalf.
I'm asking some of the gals who are taking part in this study for a favor. I'd be honored if you would write a review about my book on Amazon.com?
Here is the link:
http://www.amazon.com/Untroubled-Heart-Finding-Faith-Stronger/dp/1434767973/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235427724&sr=1-1
If not, that's fine. I understand. No pressure. I'm asking because reviews help others decided if they want the book or not. Because God is speaking to you through it, I thought you'd be a good one to ask.
thanks and blessings,
Micca
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