It's been a very busy week. I am very tired and fighting a cold.
Our church is hosting our district's Annual Meeting and Celebration. That means that I am the point person for the church, pulling people in to help with decorations, hosting, ushering, food, media and sound, building set up, child care - among many other things.
I have been running my tail off this week because we have had meetings and I have been making many phone calls to get everything sorted out.
The meeting is next week Friday and Saturday, so if I am rather absent here in the next week, please forgive me. I just have so much to do, and so much on my mind.
The theme for the Annual Meeting is "Getting back to Basics: Prayer." So I have someone who jumped onto my team, who is so fired up about praying for everyone coming. She has organized our church to literally cover every single person in prayer. There are people who grabbed someone's name, filled out a card to let them know they were praying for them and slipped it into an envelope with their name on it. Those will be put into everyone's registration packets. They then keep the person's name and pray for them throughout the next week or so, and just pray as God leads them to.
It has been amazing to feel the prayers of people. Once this dear lady jumped in and started really organizing the prayer for the event, I have been feeling entirely different about how things are going. God is so good that way. She was an answer to an unspoken prayer of mine that someone would be there that I could call on to pray for me, whatever it was, and whenever. She has.
As we move into this next week, again things will be very busy, but there are things going on personally that will add to the stress unless I am able to let them go to hang onto God, or as I said in my last post, let Him hang onto me.
I went through counseling with Tricia this past week. By the time I was done, I was feeling so sick to my stomach. It took me nearly an hour before I trusted myself enough to drive home. I just sat in the parking lot in my car.
God lifted me above those intense emotions and reactions to the things we were talking about this week as I have had other things I have needed to deal with. I am so grateful He does that. He has sustained me this week.
Of course the last couple of days I have been staying with Him pretty intensely as I have been working on catching up on my Breaking Free Bible Study. This study has been amazing. We just finished Week 4, and I know there is much more to go, but God has been using it already in seeing patterns and areas where truly I am still in bondage. After talking to Tricia, and then working through the bible study homework, God revealed to me some areas that I am going to have to really work on. Not easy stuff, but worth it in the long run.
There are a couple of assignments that Tricia gave me that I have to do in the next 10 days or so. I need to have them done by the Monday after the Annual Meeting. I am going to be taking off the 25th and 26th from work to recover from the weekend, and I have my appointment with Tricia that Monday afternoon. I am hoping that I don't have to do my "homework" from her that morning, but if I have to, I will.
My heart hurts thinking about it though. I don't want to have to do what she is asking me to, and what I feel God is asking me to. It's difficult though I know it will bring further healing. I don't know if I will ever get beyond the depression, or the struggle with it. Knowing the why's or the answers to the questions doesn't help either, because I still have to deal with it.
I would like to do it ahead of time and get it out of the way. But with the multitude of responsibilities I have for the Annual Meeting, I just am afraid these things will stir up way too many emotions. I know that God can handle it, that He can cover it and give me the strength to do all things. I just need prayer that I will know when to do what He wants me to do.
It makes it all harder to look at with any clarity when I am feeling sick. I have to sing during the Annual Meeting at several different points for the worship team. It's an added thing on top of the responsibilities I have, being available for the district executive administrator to help her with anything she needs. I am glad to do it. I feel that God has called me to sing and help lead worship. With this cold, however, it will be difficult to sing if it doesn't clear up quickly!
As you can see I have a lot on my plate in the next week... and it's not just the Annual Meeting. My brain feels fried, and there are so many things I want to do, need to do, and should do that I am not quite sure where to start.
Thank you for listening to my babble! :) I will be praying for all of you as God brings you to my heart and mind, but I may not be able to be around for a visit for a little bit.
If something comes up this week that I need to share, I will pop on here again, but again it all depends on how things go.