Preparation...

Things are moving. I am getting my talks polished. I have cut about all I can and am praying what is left is what God wants me to say.... and that I am prepared to stay within the time limits. I am going to be practicing on and off all day tomorrow to see how well I can get off the paper as much as possible.

I have a friend staying with me on Friday night, and am going to employ her help in trying to figure out what I am going to be wearing. I want to look the business casual, and still be very comfortable, so that I am not distracted by hurting feet, etc, while I am trying to talk, or take notes, or anything else.

I talked with someone from my church today who is also going to She Speaks, and we shared our talks, she shared about the book proposal she is doing, and we talked about what we were worried about, anticipating. It was so good to talk with someone and get and idea of what they were thinking as well.

In all of these things though, there is one more big thing I can do to prepare. Besides my talks. Besides practicing. Besides packing and making lists.

Focus on my spiritual preparation.

I need to be praying for those in my evaluation group. For the other women coming from all over. For the Proverbs 31 team who is leading the conference. So many of them are leaving their families, with their ups and downs and struggles right now, to minister to us, and I am so astounded by all they are doing.

Just today, after I came home from going over things with the other woman from our church, I got hit. I mean, I started feeling sick. I was so exhausted I fell asleep in the hammock in our back yard while the kids played. I haven't felt like eating since lunch, just bleh.

After supper, as the kids were playing inside, before I went out with them, I felt my mood go "bleh" too. I started swinging down. I started struggling with depression. It just "hit" me. Praise God, I had the presence of mind to recognize the spiritual attack for what it was. There was no reason for me to be feeling that way. There was no thing that happened that could have brought my mood down. It just suddenly happened like a change of the wind.

I prayed. Prayed on the spiritual armor. Prayed for the Holy Spirit to come in behind and fill me to overflowing with the sense of God's love. It was just a few moments in prayer that I had, but it was enough time for me to become aware of the unseen, to bind the enemy, to pull on the armor and protection of God, and to trust myself into His care.

It is something I am going to have to be more aware of, and more deliberate, purposeful in doing each and every day.

I need to be prepared spiritually. I want to let God do in my heart what He wants, to get me ready for this conference, and for the things He would show me before I get there, while I am there, and as I come home back to my "normal" life.

I want my heart to be tender and teachable, and able to discern God's voice speaking to it, to me. I want my heart to be open and fertile ground for Jesus to plant the dreams and visions He has for me. I want my heart to beat with the passion of God for those around me, and for sharing the unique message He has given me to share.

Tomorrow I get an unexpected day to myself. I get to be with God, without kids or husband. I get to take the time out to spend time with Him. I am going to have to clean and straighten up around here, but that doesn't mean I can't do it with an attitude of worship, and with a listening heart.

Please pray for me as I head into tomorrow. Pray that I won't get distracted by the things to "do," rather that I would be able to focus on "being" with my dear Father.

That is the best preparation I could ever make.