Saturday, January 17, 2009

"Do not be anxious..." What's that?!


“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:4-7

This is my new scripture memory verse for the challenge through Beth Moore’s blog. (just click on the button at the top of this post to join!)

Boy, do I need that peace right now.

I feel myself all tied up in knots, anxious about everything. I have been praying, but you know, when the negative self talk comes in there, I am really feeling like crud, and it is hard to speak truth to myself. So, scripture memory here I come!

I am going to keep repeating this scripture and Romans 12:1-2 over and over today. I have to replace these lies in my head with the truth.

I need His peace to guard my heart, and to guard my mind. Because I am feeling the pretty far away from peace right now. I have spent time with God today already, and have been praying and reading through scripture….

But.

I hate to admit it, especially “out here” in blog land… I really just want to run and hide. I don’t want to do today. I don’t want to “do” tomorrow. I am leading worship team, and am feeling very inadequate right now. I want to curl up in my bed, under the covers and go back to sleep and forget about everything.

Hmm, could that be depression raising its ugly head again?

I know that I can come to God with anything and everything that I have and that I am. I thank Him for all the amazing things He has done in my life this year. I have praised Him for drawing me closer to Him. I have invited Him into the emotions I am having right now.

Yet.

I still want to curl up in bed.

Why does this happen on the weekends? This happened to me last weekend as well. Maybe its hormonal! I don’t know. But I do covet your prayers. Please pray through the verse at the top for me.

Another verse I am clinging to is my anchor verse for the year. Who knew that I would need it so much?

“Oh Lord, be gracious to [me]; [I] long for you. Be [my] strength every morning, [my] salvation in time of distress.”
Isaiah 33:2

I am praying through that, because only by His strength am I going to get through this time of struggle. I am so grateful that He gives me strength. And not just strength in general, but strength every morning. I am so grateful that He is my salvation. Again, not just in general, but in time of distress.

He strengthens me for every day, so that in all things I am more than a conqueror. He is my salvation when I am in distress, like today. He is my refuge and my strong tower.

Oh Lord, I am in distress today. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I would be so anxious about everything and find myself plummeting into a hole. The only thing I can think of is that the enemy is trying to destroy my effectiveness. Especially since I am leading the worship tomorrow at church. Please guard and protect me. Keep me safe from the enemy’s attacks. Thank You that Your faithfulness is so great, Lord. And that You are faithful to ME. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings and cover me with Your feathers. Keep me safely in the palm of Your hand. Thank you that I am the apple of Your eye, and that You watch out for me every day. Help me to sense Your presence with me, and to sense Your Spirit indwelling me. Let Your peace pervade my soul and fill me to overflowing with Your love. Only in Your strength can I stand, Lord. Thank You for Your covering, and thank You that You have already won the battle, and that in You I do have the victory. Help me to claim Your promises for today, and always. Amen.

No comments: