Ode to the Kudla Koff...

I thought everyone would get a kick out of this. This was written by our teenage neighbor. Our house has been kicking around a cold for the last few months, and because he comes over often, he has gotten it, and been out of school for most of the week. This was his ode to the cold… promted by being bored out of his gourd, and he said it might have something to do with the 4000psi of pressure in his head, and the sense of a big fat guy sitting on his chest… Enjoy….

i’ve kought the kudla koff
and i really must protest
to the big ole fat guy,
that i feel sitting on my chest

i’ve kought the kudla koff
and though its gotten my pathetic buns,
out of their seat in school;
i really dont like to cough.
eeeeww i just started to drool.

i’ve kought the kudla koff
and though its given me ample time
to make a rhyme or limerick
i really do not like it
because it makes my lungs go: “ka-jiberick”

I’ve kought the kudla koff…..

wait wait wait. hold it right there

“who are you”

i’m the technicality inspector. there’s been a code violation

“…huh”

yes. it seems that its not actually the Kudla Koff any more. it’s been mutating in your body, such as it is, enough so that it cant be called the Kudla Koff anymore.

“well what am i supposed to call it then? the partially mutated bacterium previously known as the Kudla Koff…”

i’m not the poetic one here. i’m just doing my job

“fine then…”

—-minutes later—

I’ve got the bad blount boogies
and i really do not like them
they make me feel all icky
and then i cough up phlegm

its me again

“What? for the love of sweet swiss cheese what do you want now?!?”

well are you really going to say that? thats just nasty…

“you know what, fine. YOU try writing with a head cold and making it rhyme!!!”

—storms off in a huff—

… hey, come back? aren’t you going to finish it?

**Courtesy of Matt Blount, our teenage neighbor kid…. (a.k.a. our “other son”)