Yesterday and today I have been doing my best to lay low.
You see, I got the creeping crud that has been taking everyone else out. And, when mommy's sick, daddy's working, kids are in school, it's one thing - I was able to get some rest on Thursday, but yesterday and today, everyone has pretty much been home, and I have been "on call," as it were.
There is also another complication. Our church administrator (me) asked our resident computer/slide show guru (my husband) to put together a "Year in Review" slide show - utilizing pictures taken through the whole year of 2010 that she had collected. Running a bit (ok, a little more than a bit) behind schedule, she handed him over 18 GB worth of photos and videos.
Oh, not only that many photos and videos, but also a digital video camera with footage from a baptism we held in August. With the video still on the tape, not in the computer.
My guru is currently working on figuring out how to pull the video off the tape/camera and put it on his computer. He's arguing with the camera, till he found a output connection he needed, now he's mumbling and arguing with the computer and software issues trying to get this off.
He wouldn't be working on this so hard if the administrator (me) had remember to bring our still camera to the baptism to get photos of all 8 or 9 that were baptized at the same time. This was one of the first times in a long time we did a baptism, especially in the summer, inside our church. But we put it right in the service because these folks, their testimonies are so powerful, we really wanted their stories and their baptisms to be the sermon. It was a powerful service, and extremely moving for our church body to see first hand God working in these folks lives. And what a celebration we had!
So, all that to say, we really want bits of this video imbedded in the slide show.
The complication is added to when it was realized that my dear, sweet husband works next weekend, and the slide show needs to be ready to go for me on Saturday morning. He has this weekend to put it together. And a few evenings and a day or so this coming week.
Needless to say, I have had to be up and "with it" to keep the kids occupied. I had no idea what to do today, but Angela's family was staying at a hotel in town, with a pool, and invited me and the kids to come play with them. So, off we went. I was exhausted before I even got up this morning, so getting them there was a challenge, but once they were there, and acclimated to the water, I could settle in, and finally was able to relax in the hot tub for a bit. Literally for two kids who can't swim, they got used to that pool fast and had a blast.
That took care of the middle of the day... they got home and crashed out on the couch and played quietly. I was able to flop on the bed for a bit while daddy took care of supper, as he was at a pause in his work. Then I crashed with them on the couch, watched a bit of tv and helped get them into bed.
I am heading to bed soon, cause I am still feeling cruddy (not as bad as this morning, but if it takes me this long to get going tomorrow, I'm gonna be in trouble getting us out of the door to church!).
In the process of laying low, I have been reading and writing in my journal, but not many of my thoughts are clear, so I haven't wanted to share a lot here. I have been so emotional through last week, and last weekend, that now it feels like everything has numbed out. I know that may not necessarily be true, it may be the cold working against that, and God helping me get through a couple of very busy, tough weeks.... weeks that can't be easily navigated with emotions ranging all over.
That being said, I talked with a friend on Wednesday. We chatted for a while, and it helped me, though it was a bit painful, to realize that I have been pulling in on myself the blame and shame for several different things that have happened in the past. I have been taking on the other person's responsibilities. Not just in recent days, but I am realizing it is applying more and more to the relationship I am working through with Tricia.
I spent some time after our conversation in the sanctuary, in tears. I just have been so tired. With little sleep, and little food.... well, that doesn't help the emotions, much less the body in fighting off a cold.
So, though I have done little writing here recently, God is working in me and on me. He's writing on my heart some of the things that I need to remember. There are just too many to put to word here. I am still trying to figure out what they all are. Then I need to somehow get myself off the old paths, old grooves in my thoughts and get into new ones... make new paths based on the Truth, not the lies of the past.
Laying low is what I am doing. Keeping my head down and trying to get through what I have to. At the same time, God is still working on me... sometimes that's the best time for Him to get close enough for me to hear His whispers... when I'm laying low and have cut out the "fluff" of life that overtakes me so many times. When I get down to bare bones living, doing the bare minimum, those are the times when I am ready to listen. Just praying I remember what I have heard during this time.
Now, as I am nearly dozing as I try to write any more - I am off to try to get some better sleep than I did last night.
(Oh, and as of yet, my guru husband can't get the video off this camera. First the software he was downloading wasn't compatible with Windows 7, so he moved to a Windows XP machine. As of now, he has said that unless something happens, there is no way for him to pull off the video. He doesn't have the drivers and software needed for the video camera, and its so old, Sony doesn't even have the drivers on line. Unless the owners of the camera happen to have their software disks for their camera, and are actually able to find time.... no pictures or videos of the baptism.... my husband is very disgusted at the moment....)